Mindful parenting and its benefits
Now slow down a bit. Close your eyes for a few seconds and pay attention to what is happening in this moment with understanding and curiosity. Take a few deep breaths. Notice the thoughts and feelings within you and let them flow for a moment. It’s not that hard, is it?
The goal of mindfulness in parenting is to bring awareness, attention and curiosity to all interactions with the child. Mindfulness is the opposite of multitasking and autopilot reactions. It involves listening and thoughtful reactions.
Being a mindful parent means that you consciously focus your attention on what’s going on right now and don’t let your emotions to control you. Mindfulness will help you to be “here and now”. It will provide control over reactions and repetitive thought patterns. It will help you to stop, get a clearer picture of the situation and react more skillfully.
12 benefits of mindful parenting
- It reduces anger, stress, anxiety and feelings of depression
- It helps to deactivate the "fight or flight" response
- It allows you to feel calmer and better control your own emotions
- It requires less emotional energy, making parenting less difficult
- It will help to establish and strengthen communication with the children
- It develops self-regulation and emotional flexibility
- It models positive behavior mechanisms in children
- It suppresses the symptoms of hyperactivity
- It builds confidence and trust in the parent-child relationship
- It promotes positive and loving communication
- It improves the overall comfort of the family
- It increases the satisfaction of parents
How to become an active and attentive parent
While parenting is rewarding and full of beautiful moments, it can also be stressful and frustrating. Every day you face many demands that increase stress and distraction. It is therefore natural that all this can upset you, which often leads to emotional reactions such as shouting, aggression, impulsive actions, withdrawal, later remorse or feelings of guilt. Mindful parenting is about breaking this cycle by becoming aware of these stressful situations and uncomfortable emotions so you can stop before you react.
Mindful parenting is essentially about being present and stopping. The point is to move away from reactivity and be able to respond thoughtfully in each moment, and to help your child do the same.
Bringing mindfulness into your parenting practice doesn’t mean you have to change your entire life. All you have to do is open your eyes. Notice everything around you, how you feel inside and out. Perceive things with all your senses – touch, hearing, sight, smell and taste. Don’t live in the past and don’t plan too intensely for the future. Live in the present moment and look for the good in everything that happens to you right now.
It may take you a while to tame your attention. Don't worry about it. All kinds of mindfulness take time and practice.
However what you can do faster, is to stop for a moment and take a break between your emotions and your reaction. This will reduce your own stress and positively affect your child as well.
4 tips for practicing mindfulness
Accept
Do your best to accept your child's emotions and actions, even if they frustrate you. Extend this acceptance to yourself.
Breathe
Are you having a hard time? Concentrate on your breathing. Take a deep breath, fill your lungs with air and think about your breath. Exhale and feel how the breath enters and leaves you. Encourage your child to also work with his/her breath when he/she feels emotional tension.
Intelligibility
Focused breathing is an important part of meditation. You don't need any special knowledge to practice it. All you have to do is set aside a few minutes each day to really connect with yourself.
Slow down
Next time before you find yourself in a situation where you feel like you're about to explode, stop for a moment. Take a deep breath and then exhale fully. Absorb your feelings, your surroundings and also your child's experiences. Try to embrace the moment without wandering into thoughts of the past or the future.
Možná Vám bude chvíli trvat, než zkrotíte svou pozornost. Nic si z toho nedělejte. Všechny druhy všímavosti vyžadují čas a praxi. To, co však můžete zvládnout rychleji, je na chvilku se zastavit a udělat si pauzu mezi emocemi a reakcí. Snížíte tím vlastní stres a pozitivně ovlivníte i své dítě.
How to become an active and attentive parent
Listening
Stay focused on the present moment with your child. Give him/her your undivided attention instead of being distant and distracted.
Self-regulation
Don't let your emotions trigger immediate reactions such as yelling or other automatic behavior.
Emotional awareness
Be aware of your emotions and your child's emotions and catch them before they get out of control.
A non-judgmental acceptance
Accept what is happening without your or your child's feelings. A non-judgmental attitude to the present moment also involves letting go of unrealistic expectations that you place on your child.
Compassion
Approach your child with deep understanding and help him/her to explain what is he/she experiencing. Be empathetic to yourself as well and allow yourself to forgive your mistakes.
Mindful Parenting in everyday life
So what does mindful parenting look like in practice? Get inspired by these examples that can influence your approach to parenting challenges.
What to do when the little one does not want to sleep
Give your attention to your body and breathing. Maybe your thoughts wander to all the previous nights when your little one was struggling to sleep. Maybe you’re worried that he/she will never sleep again and you’ll never have time for yourself. Your emotions can snowball. But again inhale and then exhale slowly. Breathe repeatedly and deeply until you calm down. You’re on your own. And you are in control.
Stop and understand your emotions, which are normal. Are you feeling angry or frustrated? Admit that too without judging yourself. Again, stop to understand and accept that many children have trouble sleeping through the night and that this night does not mean it has to be like that for the rest of their lives.
What to do when the angel is angry as hell
Look around you. Even if your child’s behavior may seem embarrassing or trigger some other negative emotion, stay in the present moment. When you start to perceive the environment around you, you will probably find that in addition to strangers whose looks can stress you out (don’t pay attention to them!), there are also a lot of interesting attractions in the store. Maybe your child wants a certain toy or candy, or is tired from shopping all day or lack of sleep.
Before you grab your little grump and run out of the store, try to spot the cause of what is happening. Accept that kids can get out of control when they want something badly or when they’re overextended. Accept the fact that they are probably dealing with their own “big” emotions. Also accept the fact that even if strangers look at you in amazement, your child does not want to embarrass you. (But that doesn’t mean you have to buy your sweetie a talking dog for thousand.)
What to do if your tummy lacks the apetite
When a baby is in its newborn age, it tends to swallow milk eagerly. A little later, he/she will start to behave a little differently – he/she will refuse to eat the delicious homemade food that you have prepared for him/her. Of course, his/her behavior will affect you and you will want to react immediately.
Instead, take a deep breath, remind yourself that you are an excellent cook, and think about what your child is probably going through. Maybe he/she is worried about a new taste or texture. He/she may remember being sick after eating a certain color of food and now associates all foods of that color with illness. Ridiculous? Not for a small inexperienced diner.
Before you put yourself in the situation of your little one and empathically think about it, try to figure out what he/she really feels and needs. Adjust your eating regimen accordingly. Feed the baby without distractions, encourage slow eating, make eating fun. Encourage him/her to pay attention to how full his/her tummy is. When you want to offer him/her a new food, make sure that the whole family is sitting at the table. His/her motivation to start tasting a new goody will be higher.
Mindful Eating
Mindful eating is an integral part of mindful parenting. A positive habit associated with eating slowly, making healthier choices, enjoying your food, and stopping when your body signals it’s had enough. If you instill it in your child from an early age, he/she will easily acquire a positive relationship with food and adopt healthy eating habits.
Family at one table
When all family members gather
at the same table, it is more likely that the child will want to taste new foods and eat what you do. In addition, it builds good habits. During the meal, he/she learns to sit in his/her place and pays attention to what he/she is experiencing.
Proper dining
Your baby can learn at an early age how to say or use sign language for "enough", "more", "please", "thank you" or "milk" . Encourage him/her to tell himself/herself what else he/she needs and when he/she has had enough food.
Without distraction
An important part of mindful eating is learning to enjoy the tastes and smells of food, while also understanding the signals of hunger and fullness. If your little one is busy playing or watching a fairy tale, he/she cannot concentrate properly on what he/she is eating. The amount of food can eventually get out of control.
Tummy's buddy
Talk to your little one about how their tummy feels. This motivates him/her to pay attention to feelings of fullness while eating. If the child tends to eat quickly, you can tell him/her: “Toys and stories will wait for you. Now listen to your tummy, which wants you to eat slower."
Beneficial communication
Main meals and snacks are great opportunities to bond with your child. Try to chat with him/her between bites. He/she will eat more slowly, giving him/her time to recognize signals of hunger and fullness.
Baby Led Weaning (BLW method)Connect Mindful Eating with the BLW method. You can start with it from the age of 6 months when the baby has the ability to enter the world of solid food. Give your child the freedom to experiment and discover food at his/her own pace. You will help him/her to develop chewing skills, manual dexterity and hand-eye coordination.
Connect Mindful Eating with the BLW method. You can start with it from the age of 6 months when the baby has the ability to enter the world of solid food. Give your child the freedom to experiment and discover food at his/her own pace. You will help him/her to develop chewing skills, manual dexterity and hand-eye coordination.
20 rituals
to support emotional comfort in the family
Mindful parenting takes dedication and commitment. Deliberate action that connects all family members. The first step to becoming a more mindful parent is the ability to choose the values that are truly important to your family and live in such a way that these values are reflected in your daily life. Family rituals can be used for this. Deliberate actions belonging to mindful parenting. They give shared meaning to activities and values in your family.
Family rituals are an important part of creating a positive family culture and a strong family identity. They bring individual family members together and help them build secure bonds based on shared experiences and interests. Rituals help the child to feel needed, important and loved. They create a sense of belonging that is vital to the formation of one’s identity.
Family rituals also have other benefits
They make difficult transitions easier
They provide a sense of comfort or control during emotionally challenging or stressful moments. They help manage everyday situations such as going to school, going to the dentist or going to bed. They also facilitate larger transitions, such as the start of a new school year, moving or saying goodbye to a family member.
They support emotional regulation
They bring family members together and provide children with a way to manage their emotions in challenging situations.
They educate about values
They are a fantastic way how to teach children family values through direct experience through living.
They provide a sense of security
They give the child feelings of consistency and stability. Rituals are safe. They act as anchors that the child can rely on.
They add meaning to events
Rituals provide a way of understanding and accepting the meaning of certain events that occur in family life.
How to introduce rituals into your family
If you’re not sure how to perform your own family rituals, try to answer these questions:
A question of values
What are your life values? What are your family's priorities? What values do you want to pass on to your children? Family rituals are most effective when they reflect core values and beliefs.
The question of favorite childhood rituals
What family rituals from your childhood would you like to pass on to your children? Which of the rituals gave you a sense of security? What family activities did you enjoy the most during your childhood? Think about how you can revive your favorite childhood rituals that make sense for your current family.
Question about favorite activities with the current family
Do you have common interests as a family? What family activities do you do? What kind of experiences would like most to do together? Think of ways to create rituals for activities and events that you already enjoy as a family or would like to experience together.
Inspiration for family rituals
Daily rituals
A bedtime story or fairy tale
Bedtime can be a difficult transition for many children. Why not use this moment as an opportunity to reconnect after a long day? After a nice story or fairy tale, your baby will fall asleep with positive emotions.
Night light
A small night light in the room can help alleviate fears of the dark and provide a sense of security. If your child is old enough, let them choose their own night light.
A soothing bath
Warm baths have a relaxing effect. At the same time, they help to prepare the body for sleep. Add a mixture of essential oils, chamomile or lavender bubble bath to your baby's bath. In this way, you will support the soothing atmosphere and effects of the bath.
A secret handshake
Come up with a secret, super fun handshake with your child and use it whenever you have to say goodbye or when you meet again. If you have more than one child, you can create a unique handshake for each one of them. They will be happy to have something special that is only between you.
Family dinner
Among the most effective ways to prevent or solve emotional problems in the family are joint meetings at the same table. Family dinners provide an opportunity to reconnect after a long day apart. Open communication, sharing and reflecting on the whole day can help to create good eating habits for the whole family.
Evening walk
Get your daily dose of exercise with a family walk, perhaps every evening before or after dinner. It's a great way to simply enjoy each other's company. You can combine the walk with a game that will intensify its character.
An eight-second hug
A proven helper against stress is a hug, which also has a strong bonding ability. Each family member should receive at least 8 eight-second hugs a day. Try it!
Morning cuddle
Start your day with a five-minute cuddle in bed with your kids. It's a great way to start the day off on the right foot and make sure everyone feels loved before they go their separate ways.
Legacies and Affirmations
You can put written legacies and motivational affirmations in the child's lunch or snack box. It's a great way to let him/her know he/she is loved and cared about, even when you're not together. Expressions of love are especially helpful if your little one is anxious or in a bad mood.
Custom farewell greetings
You can use words of affection, a special handshake, a kiss, or a sweet saying like, “See you later Superman!” Make greetings fun. Give the act of saying goodbye a positive meaning.
Weekly rituals
Movie night
Prepare blankets, pillows, order your favorite food and everyone cuddle up on the couch to watch your favorite movies. A movie night together is a great way to end the week and transition into the weekend.
The entire family is playing
Pack a bunch of board or card games, some good food, and play! Games help children develop important social skills such as cooperation, sharing, self-control or patience. Family games teach children to cooperate and communicate, especially when you play in teams.
Weekend breakfast
Consider meeting for a mindful breakfast on Saturday or Sunday. Enjoy everything on the table. Fruit, cereal, toast, pancakes, bacon, cheese or eggs. What you eat is not as important as the time you spend together.
The whole family does sports
For some families, sports are an important part of their lives. If you want your child to stay active, plan a day for sports games.
Themed meals
Try, for example, meatless Monday, fish Tuesday, Friday with pizza or Sunday with schnitzels and mashed potatoes. Regular themed meals are a fun way to add variety to the week, give a solid structure to the days and give your child something to look forward to.
Family gathering
Make time to meet with the whole family. Discuss what works and what doesn't work so well. Having a shared conversation is a great way to ensure that each family member feels heard and understood and has the opportunity to contribute to important decisions.
Cooking day
Even if some children are chaotic or on the contrary slow, most of them like to help in the kitchen. When you involve your child in cooking, you give him/her the opportunity to learn from what and how the food is prepared. Cooking develops creativity and intuition, strengthens the right relationship to eating and leads to independence.
Monthly rituals
Experience day
Make room in your calendar for a "special" day and go on an adventure. Do something big that you wanted to experience together as a family. Whatever it is, make this day special.
Camping in the room
It's time to camp! Stack blankets, pillows, mattresses, sleeping bags in the living room and build a fort. Watch movies, do shadow play, sing along, eat the food you've prepared and settle down in your family camp to sleep together.
Cleaning mission
With this ritual, you will develop a sense of responsibility and a sense of belonging in your child. Plan a major cleaning of the entire household every month. This activity can include cleaning out wardrobes and drawers, washing sheets, cleaning the fridge, cleaning carpets and floors, etc. Plan everything in advance and give your child a specific task.
Annual rituals
Create rituals around birthdays, anniversaries and holidays
Birthdays: When celebrating a birthday, each family member can write a letter or note to the birthday person.
25 Days of Kindness: From the first day of December until Christmas, you can create a 25-day challenge for your child to motivate them to act considerately and help others. This ritual develops emotional intelligence and social communication.
Custom Ornaments: Make your own family ornaments that can be used for various occasions. You will thus strengthen the child’s creativity and manual skills.
Old and new year: Use the new year to recap the past year. Reflect on happy moments, sad events, wins, losses, individual milestones, fullfiled or unfulfilled goals, and set new goals as a family. Write down everything you want to improve, where you want to go, what your plans are, etc.
Camping in the garden: Set up a tent, prepare homemade treats and favorite drinks. Invite friends, organize games and chat.
Photo album:Take photos of your child. Make him/her a photo album. It will be fun to go through it years from now and see how he/she has grown over the years.
Consider that…The given list of rituals serves as inspiration. Some of our ideas may not fit your family, and that's okay. Each family should have its own rituals that suit it and reflect its unique set of values and beliefs.